| Friday, 07/03/2009
Tailgating Tips
The following are a collection of various rules
and suggestions that the Section 205 Berserkers always try to adhere to.
These are the rules of thumb, but they are amendable so feel free an
send us any comments, suggestions or additions. Primer: Tailgating and Drinking
This is a nice little "primer"
to some drink choices for tailgating posted on a tailgating-related web
blog. We advise that all novice and veteran tailgaters read this primer
and get some ideas on the true SPIRIT of tailgating. The first and most
basic rule about pregame tailgating goes like this. Look at your right
hand. ... Additionally, they are measured on their "Angry Drunk
Quotient", one to five evil Vikings , based on the likelihood that they
will drive you to a drunken fistfight. Cheers!...
Don't Give the Police a Reason to Arrest you Before or After
Game Time:
When they drive by always look casual and accuse
the fans of the other team of wrongdoing. For example, if the Vikes were
playing the Packers, Rocky would always say, "Hey officer, some
Cheeseheads down the street over there are causing BIG trouble." That
one is always good for a laugh, and some police officers actually think
it's funny. Lately, many of the Minneapolis finest have contributed to
our tailgate fun by stopping by to kick field goals and schmooze. They
 | are
great people and deserve our respect. They even put funny signs in their
car windows now. Last a year a patrol vehicle had a sign that read "Will
Work For Doughnuts!" Now if that ain't good humor, I don't know what is.
See, we can all get along, right? "What Happens at the
Tailgate, Stays at the Tailgate!"
If you bring your wife,
brother, sister or some other significant other make sure they know
"What Happens at the Tailgate, Stays at the Tailgate." This is very
important. We don't want to have any "Nagging" Spouses, Wives or
Significant Others! It's hard to act like an idiot in front of a nagging
wife, spouse or significant other. A good tailgate needs plenty of
idiots to be successful! The word "nagging" was added because we have
learned that many spouses (et al) are actually quite cool and can offer
some good karma to the tailgate party. We needed to re-evaluate and
re-word our original rule which was "No Wives, Spouses or Significant
Others" because we all agree that a "nagging" significant other is the
cause for tailgate disdain. Quite frankly, we had our reasons for
implementing this rule. It's original intent WAS NOT "sexist."
We welcome genders of all types, but it's an automatic "F" for any
Berseker who brings someone to the tailgate and then imposes some
domestic issue on the gang that has nothing to do with tailgating. This
rule is very hard to enforce because it counts on the attending parties
to be respectful, and we all know that is hard to do at a Tailgate party
when alcohol is involved. Just try your best to keep things to football
and don't hold any grudges with your spouse on the way home if you catch
them kissing Ragnar or low-fiving a cheerleader or something. Be cool.
Grilles are
REQUIRED!:
It's not a tailgate unless something gets cooked
on the spot in the time frame from your arrival at the Stadium until
Kickoff. One year we actually had someone bring egg salad sandwiches and
they had the gall to call it a tailgating delicacy. WRONG ANSWER!
Absolutely and without a doubt, a Berserker tailgate must involve cooked
food. Under no circumstances is it acceptable to make sandwiches or
finger food of any kind and not have the grille going. It's important
that you select a menu that can be quickly assembled in that time frame.
If this requires that you do any chopping, or precooking at home the
night before, so be it. We recommend that you assign people in your
group to bring specific items like Chips, Dip etc. to correlate with the
main menu. Brats, burgers and hotdogs are always a great option, but
it's a novice tailgater who throws the same food on the grill every
week. Get creative! MOST IMPORTANT RULE FOR VISITORS AND LOCALS:
Hometown Beer Consumption and Exchange
Always drink beer
that is brewed in your homestate! If you're from a state with no
brewery, brew your own beer, or bring a still. Beer Exchange
Rule: When you are on the road, always offer an exchange: One
of your local beers for one from a local tailgater! This serves as "good
tailgating ambassadorhsip" and usually diffuses any animosity that may
be held against you for being an "outsider". Remember, you are at
somebody else's house and must respect their turf! Games of
Catch:
When playing catch with your buddies before, during
and after the tailgate, we recommend that you keep the distance to a
maximun of 15 yards from each other. There is no need to try and through
long bombs or unreasonable pass routes into the grills of your
neighbors. With many flying bombs in an uncontrollable environment, it's
just a common courtesy to keep the parking lot games sane.
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